Now we can all be miners, NSW Government announces

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Published: Wednesday, 26 October 2016 09:34

NSW Premier Mike Baird today announced the New South Wales will rely on a mining-led economic recovery. The Premier announced that while Western Australia and the rest of the world were struggling with the slump in mining, the collapse in the price of iron ore and other minerals and the bottom falling out of the price of coal, New South Wales saw opportunities.

“Now with giant fines and penalties for environmental vandals, Luddites and miscreants who don’t see the benefits of mining, the sky’s the limit. Not only will we now be able to jail irritating grandparents with their knitting, Lock the Gate do-gooders, opponents of economic progress, NIMBYs, Wallabies and others with distorted priorities or who’ve fallen for the alarmists’ propaganda about water supply, the environment or the planet, everyone can be a miner.

“Dig up your own backyard, dig up someone else’s backyard, and some giant multinational can come crashing in and take it away from you. It doesn’t get much better than that in the State of New South Wales. And now, no one is going to get in the way or we’ll cart them off to jail.”

The Premier also announced a range of coal-based initiatives. “We’ll have a lot more people going to jail now it’s easy for people to be criminals by being a bit too prissy about the environment, or having fresh water, so are going to need more jails. Jails are real boost to the economy and in responding to two economic necessities we will now build them with coal.

“Everyone loves a dry stone wall if Edna Walling built it, wait until you a see what Edna couldn’t imagine because of her naturalist limitations, real good looking coal walls which will be a real thrill to a community with a new jail built entirely from coal.”